Florida

It is our second winter in Oregon and I find myself missing Florida, almost desperately. I think it's partly due to my growing distaste for Oregon's winters and maybe partly due to our friends Joe and Tracey taking a two week vacation there to visit her parents for the holidays. I talked to Tracey on the phone today on the first day of their vacation and we reminisced about what it was like living there. I remembered the lovely saltiness in the air that hits you the second you get off the plane or walk out of your house in the morning. I remembered the smell of Eucalyptus in the air on the warm summer nights. I remembered that short year that Jeremy and I lived just a block from the beach in that condo, the sound of the waves crashing from our balcony. I remembered walking on the beach almost every night after work, the sea unwinding me like nothing else every had, mental stitch by stitch. The tide would mold the beach in a different way each day and it always seemed different and interesting, yet familiar.

Perhaps the nostalgia is brought on because I have no friends yet in Salem, after almost being here a year and a half. I had the best group of friends in Florida, my own little family that had pieced together in the absence of my real family being so far away. We had the best get-togethers and our home was always filled with friends and good food. I miss Susie and Ruth and Eric and Carol and Marianne. I miss Eric and Lisa even though they were hard to hook up with. I miss my old friends from Agcert and Rockwell. I know it's my own fault that I haven't made new friends here, I just feel out of my element. We've been fixing up the house so I haven't felt like having people over. The rain makes me feel depressed and anti-social. I didn't meet anybody through my work because it was a solitary job, not like the office jobs I've had in the past. I know it will get better but today is just one of those days where you have to let it all out and have a good cry. I haven't gotten to the 'good cry' part yet but I have a feeling it's coming.